FOUR STEPS TOWARD EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
An acknowledgement is a simple statement of another's value. It's a small act that can contribute enormously to the well-being of another and will also make you feel good at the same time.You can acknowledge the most significant person in your life, or you can acknowledge a stranger, or both. Just tell them what they mean to you
How about thanking a waiter for excellent service and for making your dinner a pleasant experience? Or telling your partner how much his or her smile lights up the room? Approach the world with new eyes and look for an opportunity where you can express even a small amount of thanks to someone every single day. Look for opportunities where you can acknowledge somebody's worth, especially when there are no strings attached Think about how you feel when somebody tells you what a great job you're doing or what a difference you make in that person's life. We don't get acknowledged enough, and more important, we don't give enough acknowledgments. Acknowledge somebody on a daily basis. It takes virtually no time or effort and repays in dividends that would make wall street blush.
2. Practice Forgiveness:
Full disclosure: forgiveness is the key to happiness and longevity.
What forgiveness is not It's not about making it be "okay" that someone did something really horrible and unforgivable. It is about releasing something that is poisoning you. If you think of anger as a little ball of fire that you're holding on to in your hand, consider whose getting burned. Who does anger and resentment ultimately hurt?
Anger takes up psychic space and it drives your stress hormones through the roof Stress, as we've seen throughout this book, shortens your life. On a more metaphysical level, anger and resentment poison and pollute your soul. Who needs them? And one thing can be said clearly and unequivocally about the long-lived people mentioned throughout this book. They are not angry. Not even a little
Forgiveness is an art, and like any art it needs practice. It's also a muscle, and like a muscle, it needs training. A good way to start is by making a list of everyone for whom you feel any anger or resentment
As an exercise, put yourself in that person's place and try to see the world through his eyes what would it have been like to be that person while he was doing whatever he was doing that made you feel angry? Maybe whatever he did to you was born of his own fear or frustration or ignorance. Whatever remembers this is not about "excusing him or making him "right" it's about you letting go of the disappointment, rage, frustration, or anger that you're left with.
Forgiveness is an amazing "muscle" If you develop it, it will extend your life and your well-being and those of everybody around you as well
3. Volunteer
"Volunteering makes the heart grow stronger"
A boatload of research has found a significant connection between volunteering and good health Volunteers have lower mortality rates greater functional ability, and lower rates of depression later in life than those who do not volunteer, according to a comprehensive 2007 report. Here are a few of the findings from the report, titled Health Benefits of Volunteering: A Review of Recent Research
* Older volunteers are most likely to receive the most health benefits from volunteering These benefits include improved physical and mental health
* Volunteering leads to greater life satisfaction and lower rates of depression
* Volunteering and physical well-being are part of a positive reinforcing cycle.
* Individuals who volunteer live longer
Americans Changing Lives survey" found that those who volunteered reported higher levels of happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, and general physical health
Not a bad group of benefits just for helping other people
If you've spent any time at all around what is unfortunately called the self-help movement [what I would prefer to call the personal growth movement), you may have attended a weekend seminar by one of the great motivational leaders, At any one of the seminars, you can find dozens of volunteers who do all these amazing things for the participants These guys arrive early and stay late working insanely long hours.
Why do they do it? because volunteers at his centers that the value they created for the organization by assisting had to be bettered by the value they created for themselves by doing it He demanded that the situation be not only a win-win for the assistant volunteers, but also that the assistants win even more
This philosophy has permeated every personal growth organization seen in action, and the energetic volunteers who "work the room" at all those weekend events will be the first to tell you what a gift and a privilege it is to do so
Why?
Because contributing to the world feels good
Volunteering lets you focus on something other than yourself, at least for a while, providing a kind of therapeutic "time-out" from self- involvement.
It allows us to feel we're contributing and that we're productive, and that is one of the most life-extending life-enhancing feelings on the planet. It produces feelings of accomplishment, it engages our compassion and empathy circuits, and although this hasn't been tested-I'm absolutely sure it produces beneficial biochemical changes in our brain and of course, it reduces our stress hormones
4. Make a Gratitude List
Gratitude is the other side of forgiveness, and together they are the cornerstones of any youthful energetic, happy life.Most of us don't spend nearly enough time actually focusing on what we have and what we're grateful.
"Love the One You're with that spoke to a generation of baby boomers. Maybe it's time to recall the metaphysical sentiment of that song which was that we would all be better off celebrating what we have instead of always questing after something that we don't have or hoe live in very acquisitive, materialistic society and it's easy to get caught up in aspiring to: "something better: Although there's nothing wrong with wanting more out of life, what often happens in that we focus so intensely on what we want (and what, by definition, we don't have) that we forget what we do have.
Gratitude is the enemy of stress It's hard to be angry, frustrated, or resentful-all emotions that produce bucketfuls of stress hormones-when you're taking a deep breath and thanking the universe for the gifts you've been given
The thing of it is when people begin the exercise of making a gratitude list, something profoundly changes for them. I've seen it countless times you can even try it for yourself (and I hope you do) simply make a list of any ten things you're grateful for.
You can be grateful for the ability to see or hear, for the ability to smell a rose outside your dining room window, for your new computer, for the good health of your loyal ferret doesn’t matter. Just focusing on gratitude and satisfaction will reduce your stress hormones brighten your day and increase your well-being
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